The annual exam. Is there anything worse? Really. I know there are tragedies that happen in this life, but is there anything worse than this event, that we purposely, and healthfully put ourselves through? I have just returned from one such exam and feel pretty good that I will wait another 4 years before entering those doors again. While the paper vest and sheet they provide are considerate, the vulnerability and utter humiliation I feel as I maneuver these "clothes" into the most modest position is borderline unbearable. My particular doctor loves that he and I have tennis in common and while probing areas I like to keep private; he discusses things like his serve versus my net game. Is my backhand or forehand better? Meanwhile sweat is trickling out of my armpits, making giant, visible drops on the nice paper shirt they have given me to wear. I'm pretty certain the pulse reading and blood pressure reading are inaccurate because my fight or flight response is really kicking into high gear. Do I kick nice doctor in the face or do I take off running out of the office warning other woman what is going on behind these innocently closed doors, precariously holding my paper goods in the most appropriate spots? It is quite the dilemma. So while I will keep the details personal, because you all know what goes on, the experience seemed blog worthy because the whole ordeal arises empathy in even the toughest of souls... if you are a woman. If you are a man and still reading this...shame on you...but at least I don't have to get my prostate checked. Ha! Ha!
The best part of the exam was when he said, "You weigh the same amount now that you did six weeks after giving birth to your third child." That was four years ago...is this an insult or a congratulations, or just sheer incredulity? I choose to take it as an insult, but realize there is not a thing I can do about it. This may be what I weigh for the rest of my life. However, there are worse things he could have said.......like "You're Pregnant." Oh hallelujah he didn't say that. Hallelujah!!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
For those of us left behind and in honor of my grandpa James Alford Blundell:
How many prayers have gone up over the years, asking, no begging for us to have more time with grandpa? And how many times was that prayer graciously answered? I think back to all of the medical crisis that God has amazingly saved my grandpa from and wanted to shout, “Just one more time God!! Just one more time.” I found myself thinking after speaking with my mom, “I’m not ready.” “This was so unexpected.” The reason I was feeling like this is because when it was expected, and when I had prepared myself, God miraculously saved my grandpa and all was well in my world. So what was different this time? Was God indifferent? Did he turn a deaf ear to my cries? The answer is simple. God is never indifferent to my pain, nor does he ignore the prayers of his kids. But I am reminded yet again about where to place my hope. God promises always to calm the storm. He calms my storm this time by reminding that each life has an ordained termination point. Grandpa had a full life. He was given more time then we at first expected. We all had time to say good-bye at various times. He died knowing that his kids and grandkids loved him so much. It was time for Grandpa to go. Therefore it is time for me to release him.
The Bible says in Acts, “When David had served God’s purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep; he was buried with his fathers and his body decayed.” The reason I bring up this verse is to highlight the part that says “served God’s purpose in his own generation.” Oh, to be able to embrace the fact that we are here, serving a purpose…God’s purpose in our generation. Grandpa served God’s purpose in his generation. We all have stories of what that purpose was, but it can be summed up in a few statements. Grandpa loved hard work, he loved his family, and he loved God. Now where is the purpose in this you may ask? All three of these require an act, a determined act, a purposeful act. Using Newton’s First Law of Motion: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Basically this means there is a response. So while Grandpa acted on his purpose, lives around him were moved, were impacted and were changed. You could not find a member of grandpa’s family that doesn’t know how to, and appreciate hard work. And while grandpa showed his love in a tough kind of way; there isn’t one of us who didn’t know he loved us with his whole being. And one only has to look at his library to realize that his love for God grew with each day longer God aloud him to have. And speaking for myself, that is a goal I have in my life. So while Grandpa simply fulfilled his purpose in his generation, those of us closest to him were forced to change. That was Grandpa’s purpose: to mold the next three generations. Yes, his purpose reached as far as 3 generations. I’m so glad God had a purpose for Grandpa’s life. I’m so grateful that that purpose included marrying the best wife in the world and being daddy to my mom. I’m so thankful that I know how to drive a pick-up truck on dirt roads, kill a snake if necessary with a hoe, and play dominoes with the most serious of domino players. He gave me my first taste of sugar cane, laughed that silent laugh that shook his whole body when I said something funny, and always, even in his last days, wanted to know how I was feeling, how my breathing was and if I was taking care of myself. Obviously this list is abbreviated, but this is just MY list. Everyone that knew grandpa has a story of how his purpose impacted their lives.
In conclusion the book of Hebrews is full of statements of faith, “By faith Abraham…, by faith Moses, …, by faith the people passed through the Red Sea, by faith the walls of Jericho fell… by faith Rahab…and others are mentioned. I would like to add Grandpa to this list and write his faith statement: “By Faith James Alford Blundell married and stayed married, worked and worked hard, and served his family and his country with all that was in him. “So therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” …and serve God’s purpose in our generation.