The annual exam. Is there anything worse? Really. I know there are tragedies that happen in this life, but is there anything worse than this event, that we purposely, and healthfully put ourselves through? I have just returned from one such exam and feel pretty good that I will wait another 4 years before entering those doors again. While the paper vest and sheet they provide are considerate, the vulnerability and utter humiliation I feel as I maneuver these "clothes" into the most modest position is borderline unbearable. My particular doctor loves that he and I have tennis in common and while probing areas I like to keep private; he discusses things like his serve versus my net game. Is my backhand or forehand better? Meanwhile sweat is trickling out of my armpits, making giant, visible drops on the nice paper shirt they have given me to wear. I'm pretty certain the pulse reading and blood pressure reading are inaccurate because my fight or flight response is really kicking into high gear. Do I kick nice doctor in the face or do I take off running out of the office warning other woman what is going on behind these innocently closed doors, precariously holding my paper goods in the most appropriate spots? It is quite the dilemma. So while I will keep the details personal, because you all know what goes on, the experience seemed blog worthy because the whole ordeal arises empathy in even the toughest of souls... if you are a woman. If you are a man and still reading this...shame on you...but at least I don't have to get my prostate checked. Ha! Ha!
The best part of the exam was when he said, "You weigh the same amount now that you did six weeks after giving birth to your third child." That was four years ago...is this an insult or a congratulations, or just sheer incredulity? I choose to take it as an insult, but realize there is not a thing I can do about it. This may be what I weigh for the rest of my life. However, there are worse things he could have said.......like "You're Pregnant." Oh hallelujah he didn't say that. Hallelujah!!
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Hi there,
I have to admit this cracked me up (you're feelings/expressings about this) obviously because it so hits close to home... Eve should never had eaten that apple... I dread going to the doctor every year... why oh why do we have to go through this, and why do they feel they need to "weigh" us every single time... I never know where to put my purse, what should I do with my shoes... should I take off my clothes to gain just one more ounce off the scale? Afterall, when we weigh ourselves at home, isn't it "in the buff" so we get the least amount?... Anyways, I had to suppress my "snicker" as I mistakenly opened this up at work hoping, beyond hope that there was something beyond the "Cutest Girls Ever", and didn't want to be caught not working. And, while I must say they ARE the "cutest girls ever", I'm happy to see a couple new blogs WOOHOO!! Thanks for the smile on my heart. I needed to "hear" from you. Now, back to why I originally opened internet explorer... work.
:) Mrs. Blue Eyes
Pregnant? Is that not still an impossibility (if not an improbability?)....had to ask!
Enjoy these days of one exam a year.. Very soon, (approx 16 years for you) -- you will be able to experience a test that is "enjoyed" by women and men alike - I look forward to reading your thoughts, impression and emotions after your first colonoscopy..
Of course for men this isn't a big departure from the afore mentioned "men's test".. (oh the delightful sound of a rubber glove snapping)--
So which is better, your forehand hand or backhand?
To my commenters...thank you. Yes, Jodie pregnancy is theoretically an impossibility, but you never know...you just never know. And to my obviously male "anonymous" the colonoscopy comes at a time later in life when your dignity is gone anyway. This annual exam has been a plague in my side for many many years and will continue long into my years without dignity. My forehand is definitely stronger though apparently very slow.
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