Money and Marriage

I read a survey not too long ago that said the #1 cause of divorce among couples is finances. I thought to myself, how could people be so surface as to throw away a best friend over money. I'm starting to understand. (not that I am planning a divorce at all) I am just saying sometimes the conflict is, at its surface about money, but at its core communicates a lack of consideration for the other party. If, for example, one spouse wants something, and the other spouse is more money conscious. The money conscious spouse thinks it may not be a smart purchase at this time. The wanting spouse may take advantage of the people pleasing quality of his spouse and buy the said item anyway. Now, I am speaking completely hypothetical. Because in my marriage, all of our major decisions are marriage decisions. If we do not agree then the status quo remains. We have nothing but the most respect and appreciation for each other. There are no decisions made above or around my head. We are in complete agreement at all times. There has never been a more in sync couple.

But I did receive this letter:
Dear Funny Because Its True Writer:
My husband is a great man. However, we strongly disagree about large purchases. He has an opportunity to buy a family heirloom. But at this time we are not in a financial position to buy it. I have begged and pleaded...I think he is listening, but I'm afraid he has already made his decision. Wait...he just walked in the door...oh, he already bought it. Never mind. What do I do now?
Signed, People Pleaser

Dear People Pleaser:
Well since he has already bought said item you have two choices. Make his life miserable and take the joy out of something that he wanted badly enough that he was willing to disappoint you and make a decision that you did not agree with. Or try and share in his joy and hope the financial stuff will work itself out. I tend to lean toward making his life miserable, but being that you are a people pleaser by nature...I think you will make the right choice.
Signed: Funny Because it is True Guru

Please continue sending in your letters. I love the opportunity to share my pearls of wisdom. In the end, it is my professional opinion, that finances are a red herring that take the place of locating the real problem in any relationship.