Toilet Paper

There are two things that occur DAILY that really test my patience. I feel like, since becoming a wife and a mother (12 years ago almost for the wife part) these things should no longer get to me. But they do and I am powerless to change either one.

I honestly cannot, at all, understand the mentality behind someone who uses the last bit of toilet paper and then does not replace the roll. I have read other commentaries on this very thing and have come to the conclusion that God has seen fit to match up two types of people in every household. The toilet paper roll changer and the non toilet paper roll changer. I am the changer in the house. And because of this ability, I seem to always be the person who changes the roll. Why? Because it is ALWAYS empty when I need to use the "Facilities." You may say, "Jen, surely you exaggerate." I wish I was exaggerating. But alas, the members of this family have all conspired against me to make sure the toilet paper roll is empty EVERY FREAKIN' TIME I SIT ON THE TOILET. (For those readers who feel I am always playing the victim and adding chapters to my "Poor Me Book," in this case you are exactly right.) There are days when I actually laugh about this. But as often as it happens, I still forget to check the status of the roll before I sit down. (Mostly because with the pace of my life, by the time I finally allow myself to relieve myself, it is pretty darn close to an emergency.) There are days when I am on top of things and put extra rolls near the toilet. Sadly, there are other days when I am left lamenting my precarious position safely inside the confines of a locked bathroom door with no hope of help.

The second thing that drives me crazy, and seems to send me into a bad mood almost immediately, is the constant demand for food from the three small members of this family. For the most part, I feed them three balanced meals a day. While ideally two meals should be sufficient, I make sure (with a few exceptions) that the girls have three good-sized meals a day. It is the in between meals that drive me nuts. My youngest, will finish a meal, and I'm pretty sure out of boredom alone will want a snack 10 minutes later. She doesn't just ask for a snack, she wines and says, "I'm starving to death." I think it may be the wining that drives me crazy. It is like finger nails on a chalk board. As I write, the girls are eating their lunches. I am enjoying the next 10 minutes when no one is asking me for food. It would probably be a good idea for me to eat, but after fixing lunch for everyone else in the family, I just don't ever feel like fixing anything for myself. I cut up a cucumber and this is what I will eat for lunch. No mess, no plate to wash, and surprisingly filling. But my eating habits are not the topic for discussion today. It is the annoying need for kids to eat all day long. My mom used to say, "The Kitchen is closed until the next meal." It seems like that was enough for us. That phrase doesn't work, for some reason, with my kids. Neither does the smoke coming out of my ears when one or more of them ask for more food after I've just finished cleaning up from the last meal.

The best is when I am sitting on the toilet trying to figure out how to get a new roll of toilet paper and one of the kids knocks on the door asking if they can have a snack. Those are the priceless moments of motherhood.