Thursday, March 19, 2009


I was just sitting here at church doing my taxes. (Hoping the environment would keep me honest.) When my youngest asked a very thought provoking question:

"Mom, does your tummy get big right away after you kiss or does it take a long time?"

I'm not sure where she got this bit of information on how babies are made, but maybe it will keep her from kissing boys for a little longer.

My kids might be a little sheltered, but I was relieved to find out they aren't too far behind. At Haley's 10 year old sleep over the other night, one of her birthday cards mentioned the word puberty. She was reading all of her cards out loud to prolong the joy of opening presents. My heart skipped a beat when she read this word, wondering what was going to come next...but to my relief every single girl there said, "What's puberty?" My quick wit responded with, "You'll find out sooner then you think." That was enough for all of them and a near catastrophe was avoided. By catastrophe I mean me trying to explain to a bunch of pre-teen girls that soon they would be menstruating, growing breasts, and how great it all is because that means they will be ready to have babies. Yes, I believe that string of information was waiting in line in my brain right behind, "You'll find out sooner then you think," trying to push its way to the tip of my tongue and into the ears of this eager learners.

My kids are telling me they are bored, while nearby lies a large pile of barbies, a game boy, and a leapster. I am giving them a writing assignment that they will never forget. I will teach them to tell me that they are bored. Each of them will be writing, in age appropriate terms, a list of all of the toys, games, and imagination capabilities they have access to at any given time. Haley will be writing 3 paragraphs from this list, Kayci will write one paragraph from this list, and Courtney will do a detailed drawing from this list.

I am so mean...but I hate when kids say they are bored. I HATE IT especially when I am trying to do my taxes.

I told Kayci to leave me alone and use her imagination because I had to work on some grown up stuff. She complained that I didn't HAVE to do it right now; her exact words, "It's not illegal to NOT do your grown up stuff."

"Ha, Ha, Ha," I laughed. "I will go to jail if I don't do and pay my taxes; I'm serious Kayci I will go to jail and dad too." The look on her face said she believed me. I just wonder why my conservative clones didn't quip, "Not if you're in the inner circle of the Obama administration."

Thank you ladies and gentlemen...I'm here all week!!


Kelly said...


Anonymous said...

You need a sense of humor to raise kids and you've got one. Hang in there.

Real Smile

Aimee said...

I like your writing assignments! I also really, really dislike "I'm bored". My kids hardly ever say it anymore b/c every time they say it, I hand them windex and paper towels or pledge and a rag and they get to clean! I'm actually really sad they haven't said it lately. My window are looking really dirty. :) Good luck on the taxes! Get them done so you won't go to jail!

Anonymous said...

I send mine to clean their rooms. They, too, have stopped saying it so their rooms are a mess. Maybe I'll switch to a writing assignment. Thanks for the inspiration! Miss you!!!
Lisa Hemstreet