Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Here I Am to Save the Day

As the older sister, I have been called upon several times to come to the aid of my little sisters. Though they are 30 and 27 respectfully, I still get called upon occasionally to help them in a life matter that I myself have already conquered. Julie, my middle sister has desperately called upon me for help with how I put together my children's stacking bins (made out of plastic covered metal) without killing those closest to me. Well Julie, here are the secrets to my success....

1. Before I start a project I make sure that all little humans are busily engaged on a task (video) that will take as long as my project so as to make sure there will be no interruptions at inopportune times (like when I've finally got the whole set of bins together and I try and move them to their spot and they crumble to the ground.)

2. To avoid the above mentioned occurrence, (crumbling bins) the second time I put the bins together I put them together in the closet. Yes, there are bruised elbows from maneuvering around closet doors, bruised knees from tiny parts of toys buried in the carpet near the closet, and frustration with the clothes hanging down over the work area. But besides these minor inconveniences, this is better than building the entire structure and it crumbling to the ground a second time.

3. I remember that the people who make these things don't necessarily expect them to ever be assembled completely. I know this because when I have put these bins together, they never fit exactly. 3/4 of it will fit together nicely. However, the other 1/4 are so misaligned that they require that the entire structure crumble to the ground to be correctly hooked together. Yes, this has happened to me and once again I was back at "square" one. (Punny I know!!)

4. Upon attempt number 4 to put it all together, I start the kids on another video since my time has already run out, and decide to divide bins into two complete structures. One for toys. One for shoes. Satisfied with my compromise and the successfully standing two structures, I precede to load my newly formed bins with what they were purchased for...the mounds of toys. These toys, though normally in the middle of the floor, strategically placed for utmost tripping and foot discomfort, will forever find their home on the beautiful wire bins, lovingly (and forcefully) put together by me.

5. At this point a small glass of wine or shot of some fast working liquor is necessary. (Let's be civilized and make sure it is well past mid morning before we use the alcohol). It wasn't the exact last toy that I placed on the bin, but it was close to it that caused it, for the last time, to come crumbling to the ground.

So my advice for you Julie is this: Good luck, get out the videos, and enjoy assembling these vile bins for the rest of your life. (About once a week when you do a thorough cleaning and attempt to stack all of the toys in their hoped for homes).

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

OOOOHHHhhhhhhhhh! I am sooo glad I'm not the only one. I was afraid you were going to say it was a piece of cake, and what's wrong with you, JRG? You expressed my exact feelings while constructing that piece of ****. I only bought one pack of four (two in each closet) to see if I liked them and wanted more. Well, we all know the answer to that one! I, also, was not as wise with the videos, so I had the kids helping me out! I think they met a new, and not so friendly, me that day. I'll know better next project.

...and I stood in the aisle at the grocery store for 4011 minutes trying to decide which storage thingy would be best to try!

Anonymous said...

What you're talking about here sounds a lot like what happens in the corporate world and the ministerial world. Every time you try to move forward everything falls apart. I'm not bitter.

Anonymous said...

Actually, I'm thinking about taking mine back, even though one of the pesky round connectors is broken, thanks to Toby who loves taking the shelves apart!!

They have been a HUGE nightmare, not a solution to the mess problem in my kids' closets. A NIGHTMARE!!